Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Last week I played a head game with myself, and lost as usual. It was something I thought I had grown out of, but for whatever reason, had a relapse. It’s a bummer when you work on yourself to improve in some area, then fall on your face in a temporary regression. The game I got involved in was self-doubt.

Read the full, detailed article at Wise & Shine Magazine: Self Doubt Can Take You Out

I’m not usually a big player in that game. After 53 years of life, I usually don’t care too much what people think of me and I’m rarely out seeking approval from others. That doesn’t mean I piss people off, mistreat or ignore them on purpose, I just don’t set my life around others opinions of me. This, they say, is healthy.

But every once in awhile, old habits and ways of thinking creep back onto the scene as they did last week at a gig I was playing. Performances of any kind can really raise the stakes in a game of self-doubt. It shouldn’t have mattered, but it did.

Anyway, the results of my game were just personal and professional embarrassment, which unfortunately, I have experienced before.

As I look back on this battle with myself, I realize that the whole thing could have turned out differently if I had taken care of business on my end. I should have been more prepared for the gig. I should have been smarter about how I trained and practiced. In the end, hopefully this incident will serve as a wake-up call and I’ll get my act together.

And like I often say, since this whole incident is centered around making music- nobody got hurt, injured or killed, so in the scheme of things it isn’t so bad after all.

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