Once I turned 50, I started venting my frustration at the irritations of life.  It felt good, so I kept doing it.  I call these periodic and hopefully humorous verbal tantrums Old Man Rants. Let’s get to it:

National Appreciation Days

Photo by Matthias Zomer on Pexels.com

Why is every day National “Something” Day? Did you know that today, January 11, is National Step In A Puddle And Splash Your Friends Day? For real!

Do we really need Hug A Newsperson Day (April 4)? Or National Blueberry Popsicle Day (September 2)? Or National Bikini Day (July 5)? Ok maybe the bikini thing isn’t so bad (😜) but come on people! Maybe we should just declare a National Day For Everything Day where we show appreciation for everything that is, ever was, or ever will be.

To me, the whole thing is out of control. But if that’s the route we’re going, I have a few National Day suggestions.

National Unremarkable Day

  • where we celebrate the fact that because each one of us is individually so wonderful, we are really just like everybody else and therefore, purely unremarkable

National Slap Day

  • slap the shit out of someone or something that irritates you. Each person gets 1 free slap. No penalties. No retaliating if you’re the one getting slapped.

National Toilet Seat Freedom Day

  • put it up, leave it down, clean it, don’t clean it, take it off, whatever… but for 1 day nobody complain about it!

Ah! I feel better now, time to go chase some punks off my lawn.

For more Old Man Rants, plus articles of a more serious and useful nature, visit Five O’Clock Shadow, an online magazine by Todd Fulginiti.