Once I turned 50, I started venting my frustration at the irritations of life.  It felt good, so I kept doing it.  I call these periodic and hopefully humorous verbal tantrums Old Man Rants. Let’s get to it:


Can somebody please review for me  the most current acceptable greeting for people to share upon meeting?  It used to be pretty simple: handshake, hug, or the good old handshake-“bro hug” combo. All were acceptable.

Well, Covid sure messed that up.

Since the lockdown, fist bumping has become very popular as well, so now greetings often look to two dramatic symphony conductors face-to-face in some sort of close range, band leading showdown.

Hey CDC! Can we get some guidelines on this?

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Foul Foods To Fool With

While I’m ranting I may as well take things to a new level of pettiness. Here are 2 foods I’m sick of dealing with but always seem to encounter anyway.

Red beets: that red juice gets everywhere and stains everything. Can’t we grow some hybrid strain of beets that produce stainless juice?

Peanut Butter: too sticky on utensils, hard to clean out the jar… plus I’m allergic to it anyway so I admit I have a bad attitude towards it.

Photo by Polina Kovaleva on Pexels.com

Ah! I feel better now, time to go chase some punks off my lawn.

For more Old Man Rants, plus articles of a more serious and useful nature, visit Five O’Clock Shadow, an online magazine by Todd Fulginiti.