Once I turned 50, I started venting my frustration at the irritations of life. It felt good, so I kept doing it. I call these periodic and hopefully humorous verbal tantrums Old Man Rants. This rant is dedicated to my Dad. Let’s get to it:

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The Grocery Store

Would you park your car in the middle of the street? Of course not! Stopping your vehicle in the middle of an active passageway just reeks of stupidity. And yet, each week at the grocery store, some fool parks their cart right in the middle of an aisle and leaves it there while they walk up and down, studying and staring, putting way too much thought into what kind of ketchup they should buy. Just grab the ketchup and move on for God’s sake, or at least pull your cart to the side so those of us that have lives can get around you and go live them.

And by the way, if you’re going to use the self checkout lane, please know how it works in advance or be smart enough to figure it out quickly. Scan, bag, scan, bag… It’s not that hard!

Ah! I feel better now, time to go chase some punks off my lawn.

For more Old Man Rants, plus articles of a more serious and useful nature, visit Five O’Clock Shadow, an online magazine by Todd Fulginiti.