As usual, the backstory for this Old Man Rant nonsense can be found here, but for those with an immediate itchin’ for bitchin’…. let’s go!

Freebird!

Lucky me, I’m a musician! That means I get to hear damn fools yell “Freebird” at me a few times a month.  This is irritating for several reasons, and since you’re reading this, you must be interested in what they are:

1- they often yell at the worst possible time, ruining the listening experience for everyone

2- this joke stopped being funny decades ago, and should be put out of its misery

3- I can guarantee that most of the people yelling “Freebird” have no idea what that song actually sounds like.

3a- I think if you insist on yelling “Freebird”, you should immediately be pressed to sing part of the song yourself, hum a melody, or somehow prove that you at least actually know the song.  If you fail, you owe $50 to each of the musicians you yelled at.

4.- If you really want to know what the song sounds like, here it is. It’s not even that great…

Basketball

NBA basketball has evolved into a glorified three-point shooting contest. And although I respect the skill level of the players, the game is boring to watch.  In the old days, teams worked hard to get high percentage shots, close to the basket. Now it seems like the offense gives the ball to one player who tries to penetrate inside, gets stopped, then kicks it out to the perimeter for somebody to take a three pointer.  Excuse me while I yawn again……

I think that, in order to fix this, we need to rewrite the rules. Here is my idea:

Notice on this diagram that there is a small arc near the basket. Any shot taken from inside that arc should be worth three points (currently they are only worth two). Any shots taken in between that arc and the three-point line should be worth two points just as they are now. Shots taken from the current three-point line and beyond should be worth one point.

This rule change would overly devalue the current three point shot, but it might force teams to focus more on good, old school, basketball, and work to get high percentage shots.  

And if it backfires, doesn’t work, and makes the game suck – who cares? It already sucks the way it is – what do we have to lose?

What time is my doctor appointment? 

I’m tired of the doctors office telling me to arrive 15 minutes before my appointment. Why should I do that? So I can get a headstart on waiting for the doctor to see me? In my experience, doctors are rarely on time and are usually 10 to 15 minutes late. Why would I show up early and double that?

I’ll show up on time for my appointment and hope the doctor does too. If not, that’s OK – they have a lot going on and I’m not mad about it. But don’t ask me to show up early unless they might too.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go chase some kids off my lawn.

Read all the Old Man Rants here.

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