Happy New Year! 

Yeah, I know- I’m a few weeks late on that.  But truth be told, I’m not that happy about the new year anyway.

Well, I was, but then people started doing the typical irritating shit they do, and by now I’ve lost the vibe.

Therefore, it’s time for another Old Man Rant– where I unload the things that bother me (some comical, some serious) and put them on you, the innocent bystander who just happened to come across this post. (If you knew full well what Old Man Rants is and clicked anyway- that’s on you.)

Let’s get to the rant!

If I Don’t See You- Have A Merry Christmas

Why do people say this?  At least we get a break from it now until next year.

“If I don’t see you, have a Merry Christmas?”

So, the receiver of this blessing is supposed to squirrel it away in the back of their mind, in case they see “the giver” again; at which point the giver will probably give the blessing again, unless of course it’s Christmas. Then, the receiver can feel free to have the Merry Christmas they were wished in the first place.

But what if the receiver doesn’t see the giver again before Christmas?  In that situation, they can happily break the seal on the holiday wish and feel the love.

Can’t we just wish people a Merry Christmas whenever we see them?  Who cares if they receive the same wish twice from somebody.  It’s not like they’re gonna say “Aw thanks- but no more Merry Christmases for me. I’m full!”

What the hell is up with insurance? 

So you pay the insurance company for a service, hopefully a service that you never have to use. But then, when you do have to use it and file a claim, the insurance companies raise your rates. 

That sounds like breach of contract to me!

But now there’s this new thing called insurance forgiveness where, after you file a claim, they will forgive you for forcing them to honor their part of the deal, and they will not raise your rates.

What kind of bullshit is that!? 

Do You Really Mean Anything? Anything At All?

Do you mean what you say? Do you know what you’re talking about? 

If so, stop saying, “kind of” or “sort of” all the time! 

“I went to the store yesterday to sort of buy some bread.” 

No you didn’t! You went to the store for the actual purpose of buying bread, otherwise you would have said “I went to the store but wasn’t sure what I was looking for.”

Not everything in life is “kind of” or “sort of”.  Some things are definite, like my complete irritation with people saying “kind of” and “sort of” all the time!

Game Shows

If I ever win big money on a game show, I’m not going to jump up and down because it looks stupid.  I’ll smile and be jubilant, but the jumping up and down and hugging thing just looks ridiculous.

Ah, I feel better now.  Time to go chase some kids off my lawn.  

By the way- for more Old Man Rants and other stuff I wrote, follow and subscribe to Five O’Clock Shadow.  If you want to know what’s up with my music life, visit Todd Fulginiti Music.