For those unfamiliar with this nonsense- you can find the backstory and get caught up here.

Otherwise…

It’s been awhile since my last burst of negativity, at least publicly. It was mostly a good summer. In fact it was so good that I found myself in a good mood a lot of the time.

But not all of the time.

Little bits of irritation have been festering inside me long enough to turn into an Old Man Rant– the first in nearly a year!

Ah well, all good moods must come to an end.  Here’s why mine did:

Gym Sleepers

I started going to the gym about a year ago, trying to build and maintain muscle mass for my impending old age. My biggest gym obstacle isn’t motivation or time- it’s “sleepers”.

That’s the term I’ve given to people who hog the machines by taking excessively long rests in between each set of reps, therefore preventing anyone else from getting a turn at the machine.

I know it’s beneficial to take a break between reps, but if you’d like to take a nap or read a full novel on your phone, then GO HOME and do that! 

Cones Of Shame

Who doesn’t love an ice cream cone?  But what I don’t love is the stupid little plastic cone holders that some places have begun using. The idea is to promote sanitation since the employees don’t have to put their bare fingers on your cone. 

But here’s a better idea- let’s outlaw unneccesary, single use plastics like these cone holders and go back to using a good old napkin instead! 

PS- I’m not a big fan of the paper cone wraps either because whenever you go to peel it off, some of it sticks to the cone and you end up either eating paper or not eating a portion of the cone- a loss either way.

Word Police

Yeah, I know I have a problem with being over sensitive to this stuff, but this is really getting on my nerves lately!

Attention top offenders, a.k.a. many people under 30 and certain media personalities:

The word is: im- por-tant 

It is not: im- por- dant 

And it definitely is not : im- por’- ent

Ah- I feel better now! Time to go chase some kids of my lawn.

For more Old Man Rants and other stories of a more useful nature, visit and subscribe to Five O’Clock Shadow, an online magazine by Todd Fulginiti. You can also follow him and the other writers at Wise & Shine Magazine. For Todd’s musical life, visit www.toddfulginiti.com.