Once I turned 50, I started venting my frustration at the irritations of life. It felt good, so I kept doing it. I call these periodic and hopefully humorous verbal tantrums Old Man Rants.
Today’s topic: a variety of petty annoyances.
My wife told me she was feeling inadequate. I told her she was indeed, adequate. In fact, very adequate. Instead of feeling supported, she got pissed off.
Is my wife the only one who opens a window to let the breeze in, but promptly closes the shutters in front of said window, thus blocking the breeze she was trying to let in?
We sit together in silence for 10 minutes on the couch. Then she goes upstairs and calls down something I can’t understand.
*thankfully she’s a good sport and I’ve suffered no negative consequences over this rant
Phone Booth Verses Bluetooth
Remember when we would go into the phone booth and close the door so our conversations were private? Now some of us walk around in public with a blue tooth in our ear, talking out loud for all to hear. What happened?
TV Snowstorm Reports:
Is it necessary to have live reporters on every corner during a snowstorm? The coverage is ridiculous!
“How are things on Main Street, Jim?”
“Snowy and cold. Back to you Mike.”
“Let’s check in with Susan down on Third Ave. Susan?”
“Snowy and cold Mike.”
“What’s happening over at Elm & Chestnut, Dave?”
“It’s snowy and it’s cold Mike. I’m pretty sure the whole city’s like this.”
Ah- I feel better now. Thanks for commiserating with me- I gotta go run some punks off my lawn.
For more Old Man Rants and other stories of a more useful nature, visit and subscribe to Five O’Clock Shadow, an online magazine by Todd Fulginiti. I also post at Wise & Shine Magazine each Friday. For my music activities , visit www.toddfulginiti.com