It’s graduation season- again.

Time to sit out in the hot sun while speakers ramble on and the endless list of degree candidates is read.  Don’t get me wrong- graduation ceremonies are great if you’re the one getting a degree.  But as someone who has sat through many such ceremonies as an observer- I offer this alternative perspective on the proceedings.

Thousands of cars, hundreds of spaces. What could possibly go wrong?

This has become a sad and irritating tradition. I get it- you’re proud of your graduate. We’re proud of ours too. So please do us all a flavor and shut the hell up when they call each graduates name. People don’t scramble for tickets, travel from far away, and sit through long speeches in full sun just to hear you scream so loud and long that it covers up the next persons name. Show some class and dignity. Hold it together until after the ceremony. Every name has a right to be heard.

An honest dictionary may well define the word “diploma” as a glorified sales receipt for the purchase of a collegiate education.

Pomp & Circumstance
The crowd loves hearing this famous, easy-to-play melody as the line of graduates processes into their seats. The band often gets a nice ovation for this effort, despite being virtually ignored and shouted over during the entire prelude, which usually consists of much more difficult music! At least people don’t ask if the band can play Freebird.

I wonder how many people, after remarking about how much they respect academia and it’s traditions, go home afterwards and accept as fact anything anybody posts on social media and the internet.

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