Today is Super Bowl Sunday. The final game of this year’s NFL season. The championship title match!
Chances are you’ll be watching the game whether you’re into football or not. There’s also a good chance you’ll be in a room with other people while doing so. Therefore, as a public service, I offer these 10 tips on how to not be annoying while watching the big game.
1. Stay with your people. 🏈
There seem to be 2 groups of people at Super Bowl parties- those that are into the game, and those that are just there for the snacks, commercials, etc.. Once the game begins, stay with the group you identify with. Football fans don’t want to hear about your latest office drama during the game, and non-footballers don’t care that you think about the team’s run-pass ratio.
2. Avoid doing a #2 in the bathroom unless absolutely necessary. 🏈
Most homes are very ill-equipped to handle the crowd size at Super Bowl parties, so don’t hog up the facilities by hanging out on “the throne”, reading your phone, while last night’s spicy tacos make their exit. (Exception- if you’re out at a public, multi-toileted establishment, feel free to light the place up as needed).
3. This one is for the kids and the drinkers- male only. 🏈
Related to the above, pretend your “stream” is like a touchdown pass; guided perfectly into hole of the receivers hands. Score! If your pass turns out incomplete, please clean it up. The next guy should get to “start his drive with a fresh set of downs.”
4. For Eagle fans: 🏈
Definitely remind any Dallas Cowboy lovers that their team sucks, has sucked, and always will suck, whether they actually suck or not. That’s just how it is. Go Birds!
5. Don’t wear your team’s jersey or colors. 🏈
Unless they’re playing on Super Bowl Sunday, they lost. Just accept it and move on like the rest of us.
6. For footballers: 🏈
Half the room is there to watch the commercials, so when they come on, do them a favor and shut up!
7. For Parents: 🏈
Blocking should be done only by those actually playing the game. If your kid runs in front of the TV mid-play, expect them to hear some adult language.
8. Just a reminder– it’s a Super Bowl party…🏈
…..not a frat, bachelor or 21st birthday party. Go easy. 🍺
9. Don’t complain about the halftime show just because…🏈
……the music is newer than 1990 or something you haven’t heard before. Millions of people love that artist, even if you don’t or never heard of them.
10. Post Game: 🏈
It’s completely acceptable and encouraged to tell your bosses and co-workers that Super Bowl Monday should be a paid day off from work.
Starting tomorrow there won’t be any meaningful pro football games until September. So, as NFL announcers love to say, let’s just end the season by “executing at a high level.”
Five O'Clock Shadow 